


Lie to Me

by Odds_Evens



Series: RvB Angst War [4]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Alternate Universe - Not Related, But different events lead to a different story, F/M, In Universe, but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-04
Updated: 2016-03-04
Packaged: 2018-05-24 18:18:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6162379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Odds_Evens/pseuds/Odds_Evens
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Felix and Tex have been working together for years. Felix’s newest assignment isn’t shared with his partner, though. The objective: eliminate Agent Texas at all costs.<br/>Prompt for the RvB Angst war by: The-sexiest-eggplant</p>
<p>On Tumblr this was called "Mercs with Mouths". But then I got an idea for a longer story so I'm giving the longer version the good title.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lie to Me

**Author's Note:**

> I have a soft spot in my mind for Felix/Tex besties or more head canon. This prompt is much appreciated. Set in the RvB world but with Tex becoming a mercenary with Felix instead of finding Church in Blood Gulch.

There was an unspoken rule in their partnership. 

Actually, there were plenty: 

\- Don’t bug Tex on her downtime  
\- Don't touch Felix's knives  
\- Don’t touch Tex's awesome armour  
\- Don’t talk about what happened that one night after Tex called him Leonard in bed. 

The main rule however, was to never ask each other about their pasts. As far as they knew, their lives both began the day they met. It was easier that way. Easier to ignore Tex when she got mopey and weird. And easier to avoid Felix when he read something about the ongoing war that sent him into a rage.  

Everything was easier when they just pretended the world outside their partnership didn’t exist. 

Some things had come out since they met three years ago. They both knew that they’d served in the military (but what division was a mystery). They both knew they’d done some fucked up shit during that time (but exactly how bad those crimes had been was unknown). Felix knew Tex was not completely human, even if her body could easily pass for it (“It’s a long story, Felix. Let’s not talk about it.”). And Tex knew Felix would scour the news daily looking for any mention of a certain person’s name (“God Tex, get off my back! It’s not important!”) 

In the long scheme of things though, none of that really mattered. All that mattered is they both really liked money, and didn’t mind shooting people in the face in order to get money. 

— 

Felix found Tex sprawled across the couch when he entered the hotel room. She didn’t look up as he walked closer, but she did move her legs so he could take a seat. He grimaced as she dropped her legs immediately back onto his groin, but said nothing. 

“So how’d it go?" 

"Perfect. What were you expecting?" 

"Never know. You can’t be lucky all the time." 

"Hey when you have my kind of skills, you don’t need luck." 

"No, you just need me to save your ass every time you decide this kill absolutely needs a monologue first." 

"Okay first of all that’s just called having flair. Something you wouldn’t know anything about." 

"I have plenty of flair." 

"Keeping a running count of how many crotch kicks you can get in before you kill your target is not flair." 

"Fun though." 

He pushes her legs off of him, and she sits up, leaning her heavy head against him. "So we done on Earth then? Can we leave?" 

"You didn’t have to come with me if you hate this planet so much." 

"Of course I had to come! What if you needed someone to bail you out?" 

"Hey, I always have things under control." 

"Mhhm. Of course you do." 

"Yeah. I do. I am the king of control." 

She rolls her eyes at him. 

"Anyway, yeah, the job’s done. Just waiting on payment to go through." 

"We should take a vacation after this." 

"You can pay for it with the half you didn’t earn. I’m spending my part on a new bike." 

She perks up. "Another gift for me?" 

"Oh hell no. If you borrow another one I’ll stick your through with a knife."  

Before he can blink, she’s on his lap, two of his hidden knives now in her hands and pressed against his bare throat. "How about you stick me with something else instead?" 

He smirks at her, hands on her ass. "Sounds like a plan, Ali." 

— 

_He’s called her Ali since the first time they slept together over two years ago._

_He told her his real name in exchange, but she still calls him Felix. Says it fits him._

_One time she called him Leonard. But they don’t talk about that night._

— 

Felix walks down the empty streets in the middle of the night, restless and antsy. He’s always like this after a successful kill. Tex kicked him out of the room a while ago, tired of his boundless energy and in this sleepy little section of the planet, not even the bars are open at this time of night. 

He hears the car slow down as it nears him. He doesn’t move even when the car stops directly in front of him and two armed soldiers step out, guns pointed at his chest. 

He’s been in stranger situations, okay? At least he isn’t naked this time. 

One soldier pats him down for weapons and removes his knives, while the other motions for him to get into the car. They missed two of his knives. He isn’t worried, but he is curious, so he’ll go along with their game. 

He gets into the car. 

The soldiers get in on either side of him, squishing him between them almost comically. Across from them sits a man in a suit that probably costs more then everything in Felix’s closet combined (And Felix does not buy cheap clothing).  

"Francis, correct?" 

Felix decides he doesn’t like this man. "If you don’t want a bloodbath, it’s Felix. Who the hell are you?" 

"My name does not matter.” The man answers. “I have a job offer for you… Felix." 

He’s a fast learner. 

Felix leans back in the seat, resting an arm on the shoulders of his neighbours. "I’ll have you know the services of my partner and I don’t come cheap." 

"How does 5 million American dollars sound?" 

Felix tries to play it cool. "Fah… Fah… Five Million? The big ones? The green bills? The things that make the world go round?" 

Of course he fails spectacularly. 

The man’s lips pull into a smile. "Do I have your attention?" 

"Hell yeah.” Felix smiles. “Who am I killing? The president? A drug lord? A kid? Oh please tell me it’s a kid." 

"A war criminal.” The man passes Felix a thin binder. He opens it and feels the excitement turn into dread in his stomach. “She’s a rouge AI who goes by the name Agent Texas. I believe you know her as your partner in crime." 

Felix starts making an exit plan in his head. Groin kick the man in the good suit. Smack the heads of the soldiers together. Knock out the driver and steal the man’s suit if he has time. (Plan amendment: MAKE time to steal the suit.) 

"As… generous as your offer is, she’ll beat it." 

"I assumed as much.” The man takes out a second folder and passes it to Felix. “I took the liberty of gathering an… Incentive." 

Felix opens the binder. A familiar face stares up at him. Raiden "Locus” Kurosawa. A face he hasn’t seen in five years. The same man he’s been searching for every day since Felix faked his death and escaped the army. 

Then he spots the “K.I.A” notice. 

“How?" 

"Sidewinder.” The man responds, flipping the pages until Felix is facing a detailed report of a rouge freelancer. 

“We assumed that something had gone wrong in Agent Texas’ programming. It wasn’t until recently that we discovered she’d chosen to kill those men. In order to steal another AI, code name Alpha. He was mirrored from her creator, Director Leonard Church." 

Felix’s knuckles turn white at the mention of that name. 

The man notices. 

“Are you ready to talk business now?”

— 

_He remembers the cold touch of her synthetic skin as they lay next to each other in the bed._

_"Who’s Leonard?"_

_She didn’t even react. She always did have a spectacular poker face. "He’s someone I knew. A long time ago."_

_"Did you love him?"_

_She doesn’t hesitate. "No."_

_"Do you love me?"_

_She sits up and kisses him softly. Then: "No."_

_When he wakes up the next day, she’s gone._

— 

They gave him a small box to set off when she was nearby. A portable EMP with a limited range. When they’d sent others after her, none of them were able to get close enough to set it off without her being able to escape. He wouldn’t have that problem. 

She’s cleaning her favourite rifle when he enters. He bought it for her as a gift for their last anniversary. She’d bought him a bike (which she then borrowed and crashed less then a month later). 

"You look like shit.” She says once he closes the door behind him. “What happened?" 

He’d tried tackling the man after he’d shown him Locus’ file. The soldiers had taken pleasure in beating manners back into him. 

He’d taken one of their eyes for the trouble. 

"Got into a fight. What are you still doing up?" 

She motions toward her phone waiting on the counter. "You were gone a long time. Figured I’d prep my guns for the shit-got-real call." 

"I don’t always start trouble." 

"Says the man who just admitted to getting into a fight." 

He shoots her a glare, but it’s half-hearted. She’s on her feet instantly, walking toward him. Her cold hands cup his face sweetly. "What’s wrong? You’re not acting like yourself." 

He doesn’t say anything, just pulls his face away. "Who’s Leonard Church?"  

She shows no reaction on her face. "Where did you hear that name?" 

"Just answer the question, Ali." 

"He was a guy." 

"The guy who built you?" 

”… Yes.“ 

"And is that why you took the Alpha AI?" 

Her eyebrows furrow. "No one knows about that." 

He takes the folder out of his bag and throws it at her. The papers go flying. She glances at a few of them before looking up at Felix sadly. "You got a new hit. Me." 

He nods. 

Like lightning her knee is in his groin. Her fist across his chin, and his face pressed against the floor with her boot. 

The EMP lies just out of reach under the table. He isn’t sure if she’d even noticed it when it rolled out of his bag. 

"I’m guessing by the guilty look on your face, you took it."  

"So what if I did?" 

"You know you can’t kill me. Even without the whole robot thing, you can’t even beat me in a fair fight!" 

"Good thing I don’t fight fair." 

He presses his taser into her leg and turns it on. The current hits him too and he screams in agony as she falls to the floor next to him. The stun only last a few seconds, but it’s all he needs to press the EMP onto her chest. 

They lock eyes. She isn’t sad, isn’t angry. Just curious. 

"What they offer you?" 

"Five million American." 

"That’s actually sort of a compliment. But I can still beat it." 

He nods. "I figured. But they also offered me information. One of the soldiers you killed on Sidewinder was my partner, Locus.  He was my best friend." 

Her eyes soften for only a split second. "I didn’t know Felix. He was just a another job." 

"But you didn’t take the Alpha for money, did you. You took it for Leonard Church." 

Her eyes narrow and with a kick, she sends him flying against the far wall. His whole world spins, but then his feet are off the ground and her hand is closed around his neck. 

"You don’t know what you’re talking about, Felix! I’d rather die then do anything for that man!" 

Blackness spreads from the corners of his vision, zeroing in on her calm face as he struggles for breath. 

She continues: "You never think about the consequences, Felix. You wanted to kill me because of some nobody you left years ago? And yes, I know you left him. You need me. You wouldn’t last a day out there without someone holding your hand!" 

With his last strength, he holds up the small box for her to see. Her eyes flash with surprise before he presses it. 

They both fall to the ground. He hits his head and everything goes dark.

— 

_After the Leonard incident, he doesn’t see her for four months. When she comes back, her left arm is sparking and broken and she needs him to fix it._

_He’s always been handy._

_When her arm is better and works like new, she kisses him and tells him she loves him._

_It’s a lie, but he doesn’t care. He echoes the lie back to her._

_It’s nice to feel loved._

— 

A month later, Felix walks stiffly through an army cemetery, careful to keep the wet grass off of his expensive new suit. 

He stops in front of a grave marked: 

Raiden Kurosawa.  
Killed in action. 

He’d psyched himself up for this moment for days, but now that he’s here… he feels nothing. 

As he turns to leave, he hears a familiar voice in the back of his mind. 

_"You need me."_

He always hated it when she was right. 

**Author's Note:**

> Okay. So. 
> 
> A few weeks ago I read a zombie AU with Felix as the central character, and one of his friends was Texas. And that opened so many door to ideas that I never knew I needed in my life. 
> 
> You can expect a lot more of this pairing from me in the future. Both in Mercs with Mouths (the prequel to this universe), and Radioactive.


End file.
